Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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