Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
