Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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