it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
