Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
