I wanna passion pit in your ass
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
