when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
