she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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