I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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