You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
