saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
