I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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