He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
