Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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