Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
