i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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