pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Im part way to drunk.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
