she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
