thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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