Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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