Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
