I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
