You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
