I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
