I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
