that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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