I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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