At least make sure they are 18
Why
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sext me about skeletons
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
