dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
