I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
