Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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