White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
