My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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