dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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