You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
