Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
