I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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