maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Girls should come with a carfax report
sarcasm needs its own font
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can I color on your dick again?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
