I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
