Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
