I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
