Got a toothbrush?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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