How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize