i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize