wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
