YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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