Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
