dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
