loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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