chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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