Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
