K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
