Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
