Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize