This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
