Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
