Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
