It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
