Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize