Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
