Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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